


And I can’t ever get them back

by Angel_Is_Alive



Category: Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 10:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12431277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Is_Alive/pseuds/Angel_Is_Alive
Summary: Johnny leaves Peter. Peter misses Johnny.Four angsty drabbles that spawned from that comic preview of Spider-Man.





	1. Part 1

I miss the days when I would come home to Johnny sitting in my kitchen, tiredly eating a Subway sandwich with too many olives and staring at his phone. 

He would be looking through an online suit catalog or checking his Twitter, maybe even taking a sneaky picture of me when I would walk behind him and cuff him lightly on the back of the head. 

Then he would grin up at me, all rosy cheeks and white teeth speckled with pepper, and tell me that I had webbing in my hair (I never did). He would reach up and grab at the “webbing”, hold his hand there, a warm and familiar anchor. 

He’d smile at me again with something much softer around the edges. He would nod to the space across from him, where my sandwich lay untouched (but still perfectly warm), and I would shake my head lightly in gratitude before taking a seat. 

Those days are gone, now.


	2. Part 2

I miss when Johnny would curl against me during movie night and complain about whatever we were watching. 

I would tug the quilt around us both and gingerly press my chin against his temple, and hold him a little closer. His hands, always so warm, would rest on my chest or my waist. 

He belonged there and nowhere else, as did I. We were a perfect fit in every way, and God knows what I would give to feel his hair tickle my forearm again as he would lean back and yawn. 

We would fall asleep like that, television softly blaring whatever late-night indie film appeared. Sometimes I would feel his heart beating strongly against his chest, and mine would sync up.

Those days are gone, now.


	3. Part 3

I miss when Johnny and I would fight about the little things. How I used up all of his conditioner. How he always left the lights on in our room (it was mine, really, but a lot of things that used to be mine became ours). How I always missed dinner. How he posted so much about us on his social media. 

True to his name, Johnny would storm off somewhere and avoid me for a few hours. I would slip into my suit and swing off to go punch something. 

At our worst, I would leave and stay at May’s house, and Johnny would room with Bobby for the night. At our best, I would call out to him as he turned away, ready to flee, and tell him how much he meant to me. And he would look me dead in the eyes - a burning star, a supernova - and return it. 

He would curl close to me on those nights. I would tell him in hushed whispers that I would never let him go, I would never leave him permanently like so many others have.

Those days are gone, now.


	4. Finale

I miss when Johnny would take my hand and intertwine his fingers with mine. 

Regardless if we were in public or in a superhero meeting, he would never hesitate to grab me and ground me with a simple touch. I suppose he’s always been that, my anchor; with him gone I feel light and free, but uneasily so. I feel alone. I feel untethered. 

He was easily most of my impulse control, and when he called me on my cell that afternoon, I knew I was a dead man.

When Johnny pounded on my chest over and over again as I held onto him, I let him. When he grabbed at my face and forced my eyes to meet his, I let him. When he told me he would burn me if I didn’t let him go, let him try to stop the construction crew from erasing the last tie he had to his family, I didn’t. When his eyes blazed and his skin grew warmer, I didn’t let him go. 

I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

Only when I could smell burning flesh did I loosen my hold on him. Johnny was hyperventilating as he wrenched away and made a beeline for the crane, sending a flurry of fireballs at the crew. The innocent crew, who were simply hired to do their job.

I ended up webbing his legs and hands in thermal webbing and carrying his thrashing form away from the hollow shell of the Baxter Building. It was then that he said things to me that left scars, things that still sting when I think about them. I didn’t let him go. After all, I promised him I never would.

Really, I should be used to losing people by now. I know that he means more than that to me.

These days are not yet gone, but Johnny is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading y’all I can’t wait to see Peter get yelled at by Johnny (but then they make up so it’ll all be good)

**Author's Note:**

> pls be nice I am fragile


End file.
